


Look into my eyes

by Tiffsyyy



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, future! yanan, ihdk what im doing but enjoy, past yanan died, past! jun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:03:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiffsyyy/pseuds/Tiffsyyy
Summary: "You are the future and I am the past. Fate, be it in the shape of an old faceless man, may have helped us meet but love between I, a past figure and thee, the future was never meant to be. Please, return to your time. I promise, I'll take this horse with me and begin new life. Need not worry about me"Yanan agreed and they hugged each other, Yanan reluctant to let go. Then, Yanan took our his locket, it shining in the moonlight"See you"





	Look into my eyes

_**Jun** _

I stand watching from the other side . I shouldn't be on this side. No but I caused this. So I stood, unable to help or move . I stood, heart bursting into hollowngas as I did nothing to stop or help the murder in front of me. The murder that was promised to me to never happen. the murder of my love, Yanan. I caused this– I made this happen did I not? This was the price of my betrayed. I watch, I could only watch Yanan fall cold to the unforgiving ground.

The war was over – the enemy has won. Yanan died. I did this. All this was my doing. But I betrayed my brethren to protect Yanan. It was for love yet didn't work. Why did I do it? Ho stupid I am to think that the enemy would allow anyone to live? Fuck, it was a miracle they didn't assassinate me the moment they won, those blood thirsty monsters. But at this moment, I'd rather be dead than alive. Everytime I close my eyes, I relive the sight of Yanan covered in blood, Yanan spotting me, Yanan's shock stricken expression, Yanan falling cold–

_I would rather be dead than alive_

You were always busy with the war, constantly leaving me to myself. Yes I was an assassin but you protected me so much. And. And somewhere in me I don't want to be abandoned. I wanted to join the battle. I want to join the fight for our country, for you. So I did what I had thought was wise, what any fool would do. I worked with the enemy, in exchange for your life. What a fucking fool I was.

I thought my sacrifice– or was I thought was a sacrifice from me– would be the ultimate prove of my love for you, as well as a protection. Maybe I thought when you see my so called 'good deeds', you would love me more. In this era of war, murder and blood spill, anyone who manages to love, withholds a lingering fear within their hearts. My biggest fear was your death and I fulfilled exactly that. Am I a killer?

_Now I wonder where my loyalties lie_

Does it still exist? A world where loyalties exist. Does it still even exist? Because at the end of a betrayal, you're left alone– I'm left alone– to face the shameful things you've done. The stupid, idiotic, foolish, decisions I've made to prevent your death only to lead you to a death even more fatal.

_My heart aches but you're gone so what kind of miracle am I still waiting for?_

* * *

 

**_Yanan_ **

I entered the park, mind wondering endlessly. I broke up with her. I shouldn't be this sad. She was cheating on me. That love wasn't true. A silent sigh escaped my lips. Two relationships. I've had two relationships and I have yet to find the one. I'm still waiting for that once in a lifetime true love. A soulmate if you will.

I take a deep breath and enjoy the sounds of the leaves that has accumulated several layers, crunch under my feet. Crunch, scrape, crunch, scrape. The melancholic chilly Autumn's air prickling my skin. Depressing thoughts shaken away, I enjoyed the low, lethargic atmosphere, allowing it to seep deep into my bones. Settling for a bench under between two big golden willows, I take a sip of my now semi warm tea in my hands. I let my body melt and relax. Unrealizingly, I dozed off

A dream floated into my mind. It was of a man in armour, weeping my name. He was sobbing, calling my name, calling me. It seems I've died in battle and... The man betrayed our side? The man spoke in sadness, remorse and guilt and I don't know why but my heart somehow knows his name

_Junhui_

I woke up abruptly, spilling the remains of my tea on the chilled ground. I checked my watch and saw that it was 8 o'clock. I slept on the bench for more than an hour. I decided to eat at a restaurant nearby. When I got up, I felt my heart racing. That dream– what was that? When I saw Junhui– the name was still so foreign to me. And yet, it felt right– why did my heart beat fast? Why, when a saw this stranger of a man called Junhui, did I feel overwhelming affection towards him?

As I arrived at the restaurant, my heart answered all my questions, concluded it into just one sentence

_I just heard someone from my past life weeping in sorrow, weeping for me_

* * *

 

After he ate, he went back home, took a quick shower and slept. It was still quite early–yes, 10:00 was early to him– but he was mentally tired and whatever that happened today remains annoyingly stuck to the back of his mind. That night, he dreamt once more

It was of an old, old man. His hair and beard was white as snow. He was faceless. Without a word, the old man gave Yanan a locket. The locket, gold and shining, was embedded with intricate designs. On the top and bottom was a carving of a lily and the rest of the locket has very detailed swirls and etchings. Although the old man was faceless, Yanan knew he was smiling and he knew the old man was telling him the purpose of the locket

_The old man faded away and so did the dream_

When he woke up the next morning, he squinted at the sun shining through his undrawn translucent curtains. His muscles felt like crap for no apparent reason and when he wriggled his fingers, he had to stop. Slowly, he lifted his arm. His heart skipped a beat and he didn't believe his eyes. The locket from his dream was in his had, the chain entwined around his fingers. Suddenly, it all made sense, what fate intended him to do. After gently laying the locket on his nightstand, he went straight to the bathroom and did his morning routine. Then, he dressed in simple clothes, picked up the locket and sat back on his bed. He held the locket tight in his hands and for a moment, wondered how the locket works. Then, the old man's 'smile' came to mind and he understood. He took a deep breath and opened it

He felt a painful burning feeling in his chest. When he opened his eyes again– he didn't realize he closed them– he was seated on the ground in an alleyway. He heard faint Chinese yells from afar which were very accented. This was definitely the past. Yanan recognized this alleyway. He felt like he was here before. Based on only his instinct, he led himself through the alleyway.

He arrived at a back door. He knows that behind these doors is Junhui's chambers. Should he knock? He held up his fist but he hesitated. Before he could contemplate more, the door opens. He could finally meet those hazel brown eyes

_Looking into your eyes, I know I've found you_

Junhui was backing into the room, eyes fearful

"Junhui"

"Ya-Yanan" Junhui stuttered. "Have- have you returned to have your revenge? Have you come to avenge your unfateful death?"

The question shocked Yanan before he remembered the first dream. He simply shook his head "no"

Tears were forming in Junhui's eyes. "But I betrayed you"

"Junhui" Yanan called. The name rolled off his tongue naturally as if he's been calling that name forever. "Junhui, I'm from the future. Fate brought me to you even when your Yanan died" Yanan swallowed "I... You're my soulmate"

"DON'T LIE! It doesn't matter! IT DOESN'T MATTER! If you are my Yanan or not, there's no difference. If you are here to kill me, please do it quickly. If not–"

"Junhui–" he was shaking from sobs now, backing away everytime Yanan stepped forward.

"If not, please don't come any closer. Please don't let this guilt consume me"

"Please don't lie to me. My actions were wrong, I know that. But I never meant it." Junhui cried

"You should know that my biggest fear was your death, that when I made that deal, I only thought of you and when I caused your demise, I didn't believe in such destiny. I should have listened to him! This destiny is what's destroying me"

"Who?"

"A man who looked like me. A man who is said to be from the future. He told me not to make that deal but he was a liar, like you. I should have listened to him but he also told me I would be fine. So you must be a liar too! After all, this is what the world is about, right? Who's more beautiful to love? Who's sweeter to consume from the inside out? Who's easier to trick? If you really are from the future...."

Junhui let out a loud sob and recollects himself. He was thinking.

"Are you really from the future?"

Yanan nodded "Yes, junnie, I am"

Junhui falls into Yanan's arms, crying, weeping

Suddenly, there was a booming noise as the doors burst open and a man– a big, big man– in suit armor walked in. When the man saw Yanan, his reaction began from shock to enraged and began yelling in a bellowing tone, accusing Junhui of treachery, of not killing Yanan, of not killing Yanan at first sight. Junhui, although afraid, was angry at the words spewed and pushed the man. The push was strong enough for the man to stumble and Junhui urged Yanan to run, to saved himself. He didn't want another Yanan to die.

The big man punched Junhui before hunting for Yanan

Yanan was outside, searching for a means to escape. While the man had been looking away, Junhui slipped behind him, running outside. Outside, Yanan had somewhat seized the wild horse that belonged to the man. Junhui quickly mounted the horse and helped Yanan up. Then, with a "YA!" they galloped away. As they galloped away, Yanan heard angered screams behind them. He didn't dare look back

Junhui led the horse through the village, passing a valley. Yanan saw that he was crying, his tears dripping in the beat of the horse's galloping. He could hear Junhui murmuring something even though the horse was louder. Something on the lines of "I won't let Yanan die, I won't let Yanan die, I won't let Yanan die.." on repeat. Soon, they reached the end of the valley, nearing a open field. Once they made sure that they got away safely, they stopped and hid behind a big willow tree. After they calmed themselves, they tied the horse to one of the stronger branches to make sure it couldn't escape. Then, Yanan asked Junhui a question.

"Do you want to come with me? Back to the future, I mean."

But Junhui doesn't respond. Instead, he kisses Yanan deeply. Time stopped but Yanan kissed back. Time stopped but they held each other, then and there, past and future. Time began again when they departed. It took another minute for them to recompose themselves, obviously flustered from the kiss.

"I'm sorry. I'd have to refuse. I may be from this era but I know that time shouldn't be messed around with. I plan to begin anew, maybe find a new home. Perhaps you'll find the future me"

"This time, Yanan was the one who cried. His efforts seemed to be in vain. In between hiccups, he explained his first dream. Junhui listened attentively, smiling ruefully. Yanan asked,

"Did I really abandon you that much?"

"It wasn't you. You're you. That was my Yanan"

When Yanan didn't respond with anything, Junhui continued

"You are the future and I am the past. Fate, be it in the shape of an old faceless man, may have helped us meet but love between I, a past figure and thee, the future was never meant to be. Please, return to your time. I promise, I'll take this horse with me and begin new life. Need not worry about me"

Yanan agreed and they hugged each other, Yanan reluctant to let go. Then, Yanan took our his locket, it shining in the moonlight

_"See you"_

_The last thing he saw was Junhui giving an approving nod_

* * *

 

_**Present** _

Yanan fell back to his bedroom wall, slides and slumps onto the floor. He was completely out of energy. He closed his eyes and forced a smile. Flashes of Junhui came to his head. He hopes Junhui lived a good life. He hopes Junhui lives on, well.

It all feels like a distant dream.

His eyes fall onto his clock. It was almost one in the afternoon. He gingerly stripped out of his clothes, climbed on to his bed and allowed his body to rest. He couldn't sleep

After resting and taking something for lunch, he slid into his favorite running jacket and went for a jog. A jog was the one thing his body didn't need right now. But his mind needed it. After about a block, he slowed down to a walk and let himself, once again, enjoy the Autumn's air. Somehow, he ended up at the park, where it all began. Someone probably swept away all the leaves since then though– the path were clear of them

As he walked mindlessly, he bumped into someone. Said someone, was carrying books and it all dropped onto the semi-damp path. Yanan quickly apologised and helped to pick up the books. He only looked up when he wanted to return the books to the owner

A pair of warm, hazel brown eyes looked back at him

_his eyes_

"Yanan"

 


End file.
